Hello everyone, this is a time for long stories and big journals, because I can.
As you know, I don't like to write personal journals (wrote it several times in other journals) it's too hard to write everything I want and when I start to write something, my head is so empty, but some mimutes ago I could tell so much things! That's why I don't write journal last time.
If you think I'm inactive you're 100% wrong. Nope. I'm here, I'm checking messages, writing comments, ok, not so often as I did it earlier. I'm here every day, looking at Daily Deviations, glad that new CVs incoming, so happy for you girls and boys!
I can't go away from deviantArt because I love Community and my Pixel Challenges group SO VERY much. I help my Team and they help me too. I love them.
Also I was trying to write an announcement that I'm looking for a new member of our Team
, need someone who could help to find awesome and amazing pixel artists and newbies, who want to start make pixel art but don't know how to start.
We all have jobs, lots of problems at home, health, everything. And I want my girls to be happy in this group. I hope my dear friends you are feeling good and happy when you are hosting weeks, making features, motivating people to create art. This is very important for me.
As for me... Looks like I'm not okay.
Well, I'm so glad that I have a group where I can do everything that I want, I feel support from my girls and can relax for some time. What about real life?
Well...hmm...I guess I don't know what to say.
I moved from Saint Petersburg to Moscow at 31st October and still can't say that I feel happy.
It was so hard for me for the 1st time to get used to people, this big city (well, Saint Petersburg is very big city too, but I have to say that this is a big difference between people in these cities) is moving so fast and you can't just stop and tell yourself "oh wait, look at yourself, girl, calm down, please, everything is ok just be happy and do what you want".
Oh yes, I still want to make lil cute and tasty things like cookies and donuts and sell it, even on Saturdays or Sundays, after my current job. That will make me happy, I'll have a little hobby, why not?
I want to start stream games again, so why not? I come home, cook, do home things, take bath and then...do nothing. Okay, I check dA, make a journal for PixelChallenges
, reply and write comments, but I want to do something more. I want to relax, I don't want to be nervous, I want to be happy with my man. This month is very stressful for me, I could cry for a little problem, be sad, stressful, nervous, angry. I just want to be who I am - knd, good, happy girl.
I want to some support. Why not to hug your love, kiss and say that you love her, just say girl, you are amazing and can do anything when you want to do this!
Why not? I don't know. Don't forget to say good words to people who you love and respect.
So let's back why it was hard for me to do something, I was so stressful. When I was living in Saint Petersburg, I had a job, rent a 1-room flat with my good friend (she moved to Moscow too btw), had friends. I knew where I can go to walk, relax and be happy.
And after that I had do find a place where we'll live with Anemetta
, find a job. I'm glad that we could find a place very fast and then I went to job where Nick is working too, he is a designer, I'll be a manager in a glass-mirrow fabric. It's very hard to get used to people there because as I said they are really different, but I try my best - at home and at work.
I know that Nick want to see me happy and don't want to see my stress and when I'm angry and very sad, my tears and something else. He see that I have do everything ideally even when I'm nervous and even when I can't calm down. Yes, I already taking pills (soothing, some herbs, vitamins), maybe if I didn't take it, I'd feel worse, I can't imagine it.
Woah, looks like I did it! I wrote a good journal with all my thoughts, feelings, etc.
If you have the same problem as me (when you can't type what you want on your PC), try to take a simple diary and pen, and maybe it helps to you. Also I wanted to say that we (PixelChallenges Team) decided to make a big project and while I get not enough money from my new job, I'm asking you to support us, we still have a donation account (PixelFairyHome) so every point or another prize for our Challenges are very appreciated.
You know that points donations are not required for participating in our challenges. First of all my challenges have focus to motivate people to create art for practicing, start making pixels, not only for points and Core memberships and other Prizes. This is just pleasant bonus for participating and creating art. I wish I could give more prizes to you, you are all amazing. I'm still so happy that more than one year ago I decided to crate group where anyone with different skill levels unite to create something awesome! This is also one of reasons why I decided to start some huge projects in our groups, but you'll know about it later! Let it be a nice suprise for you!
After all that I wrote there, I think I can say that I feel lil better. When you can tell someone what you feel and some thoughts, you can feel better. And I feel.
Oh, by the way, wanted to say that I need to improve my English skills, I don't know why but I can't talk with someone in english, maybe I'm afraid of something, but I guess I can write in chat even without using a translator. I know that I make mistakes, especially grammar, but I want to improve my skills, maybe use skype or something else. Maybe reading books about English grammar, watching films, etc. Do you have some advices for me guys? For Nick: I'm not sure that you'll read this, you're checking dA not so often, anyways I hope you can understand me, my feelings, I know I don't want to hurt you or make you sad or angry, I just want some support, love, nice words, ad I told you earlier, I love you and want to be happy with you. When I feel support I want to support and hug, and share my warm and love with you.
I hope it wasn't too hard to read all my journal, hope you are okay and feel good, you are all amazing and I miss you all and LOVE so much. With love and hugs, Arichy.